O LORD, You have searched me and You know me.~Psalm 139:1 NIV
Jenna knelt at her bedside, weeping. She stroked her finger with her thumb and forefinger, missing the wedding band that had symbolized a circle of love.
This simple band that had encircled her finger signified security. But, Brian didn’t feel the same way. He had left her for a new love. Jenna was left grasping for answers. Could she have done something to keep him? No, his eyes had wandered from the start. She knew this, but she thought she could change him, remake him, capture his gaze…
Now, she didn’t know who she was.
“Jesus,” Jenna said through stammering lips, “who am I to You?” She bit her lower lip, hoping He valued her, but hesitant about her worth.
Doubts raced through her mind. She knew she hadn’t been consistent in her relationship with the Lord, so how could He think good thoughts of her now that her marriage had failed? Jenna was confused. She rose despondently, wishing she could talk to her mother.
She reached for a journal her mother had written for her. For years, she had read and reread its pages, drawing comfort from the thoughts, ideas, and even the struggles her mother had penned. She opened it and read the bookmarked entry:
My dearest Jenna,
I prayed for you today. It is your first day of kindergarten. I’ve fastened your locks with pink polka-dot ribbons. You’re wearing saddleback shoes with lace-embroidered socks. You are a picture of innocence.
I wish I could keep you just the way you are, but I can’t. Life has its share of trials as well as joys. Someday, circumstances might even get difficult enough that you’d doubt God’s love. Psalm 139 assures you that He formed you when you were in my womb. That means He loved you before you drew your first breath. You are constantly on His mind. His good thoughts toward you are more numerous than the grains of sand that ebb and flow with the tides.
One day, I’ll not be able to dress you in frilly socks and polka-dot bows. Even then you’ll belong to the Lord whose love is unfailing. The Bible says, “God is love” (I John 4:16b KJV). God is the personification of a love that’s unending and immeasurable, and He loves you, my dear Jenny.
Are you questioning God today? Is it because a relationship has failed? Psalm 139 shows you that the only way your relationship with God can end is if you decide to leave, and even then, He will run after you, enticing you to return. The Lord is still with you, my daughter.
Jenna brushed tears from her eyes and continued to read her mother’s journal entry. She knew God had planned for her to read her mother’s words on the day she needed her advice the most. Even though her mother was in Heaven, she was still drawing Jenny into God’s circle of love.
When you mature, you will know to hold onto God’s Son, Jesus, as deeply as He holds onto you. In Jesus’ darkest hour as He gave His life on Calvary’s cross, people forsook Him. Even His disciples fled. A dying thief mocked Him. And yet, Jesus still chose to give His life and rise again, because that’s what love does—it gives.
Who can separate you from a love like His? Can distress take you away from the Savior who willingly paid sin’s price? No, my child. Never! Who are you? You are Jesus’ true love. Find your identity in Him.
Jenna closed the diary and reached for her Bible. She blew dust from its cover, nestled into her recliner, and read Psalm 139, treasuring each word. “I belong to You, my Jesus,” she whispered, “and I trust You with my future.” Although the band of gold was still missing from her finger, she experienced a surrounding of love. She knew it was time to begin again. Jenna felt secure within her Savior’s embrace.
Thank Jesus for His constant love.
My Jesus, I thank You that even when others depart, You
are still with me, drawing me into Your circle of love. Thank You for
demonstrating Your divine love at Calvary. Help me to draw my identity from who
You say that I am. Amen.
Copyright 2016; updated 2023: Circle of Love: Diane Virginia Cunio: All Rights Reserved